or The Post I Didn’t Want To Write.
No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money [or blogging]. Matthew 6:24 + my addition
Short version: I’ve been wrestling with this decision all week, although I knew from Monday morning what I needed to do. I will not be posting on this blog for an indefinite period of time.
I’d like to think that sometime in the future I can come back to Not (quite) Balanced, but for now I need to lay it down. If you’re interested in the reasons, keep reading, otherwise, farewell and thanks for visiting.
I can still be reached by e-mail at: email@example.com
Long version: I have been blogging for almost two months, and I really enjoy it. In fact, it has been consuming a lot of my extra time to the point that I’ve been neglecting other things, like my quiet time, time with my family, etc. It has been consuming my thought life. Every conversation and event in my day becomes an opportunity for a new post. I enter the blogosphere to escape from the mundane and to engage with other bloggers, to laugh at their amusing stories, to compare my blog to theirs, to get new ideas for future posts.I guess that you could say that I’ve been becoming more addicted to blogging. There are a lot of neat people out there and I can really identify with their struggles and triumphs. Last week, during a quiet time, I felt like I needed to lay off of blogging for awhile because it was consuming me. I was losing the balance. However, my response was to spend even more time blogging.
On Monday, as I was praying, the scripture above came to mind and I had to make a choice. I had to choose who I was going to serve. And the choice is clear: I have to obey God and lay this down. My key verse for this blog has been Hebrews 12:1-2:
“…let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith,”
Yet my eyes have not been on Jesus. Instead, I’ve entangled myself in blogging to the point that I don’t want to let go.
This type of thing has happened to me before. I lose sight of Jesus. Maybe it is part of my personality to get consumed with something to the point that I don’t want to give it up. I’ve wrestled with God and refused to give up my addiction and then found myself in a spiritual wilderness walking in circles. In the past, this has taken a long time to wrestle through. I’ve been angry at God. How dare He make me give up my desires! The nerve of Him! I’ve struggled and felt utterly miserable until the time when I came desperately to Him and finally laid the object of my affection at His feet. I had to give it up until it didn’t consume me any more. God wants my affections to be for Him only.
One verse that I found in one of these dry, desperate times has been Jeremiah 31:3:
The LORD appeared to him from afar, saying, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore I have drawn you with lovingkindness.” (Italics mine).
The realization came to me that God doesn’t ask me to give things up because He’s being mean or punishing me. It is because of His lovingkindness. He puts me in situations to draw me to Him. He loves me so much, that He makes me miserable, so that I’ll come to Him and draw closer to Him.
This is what I remind myself of as I write this last post, and my grip loosens and it isn’t so hard to let go. I don’t want to be in the wilderness again. It isn’t worth it.
Will I ever come back to blogging? I don’t know, but I hope so. I hope that this is a temporary sabbatical until I can get my vision corrected. Next time, though, it will be with the Father’s blessing, or not at all.
To those who put me on their blog rolls and have stopped by, to those who have left their comments: Thank you.
I’m still around, so please feel free to drop me an e-mail if you like.