Last night was the fourth week of a financial life group that I’ve been leading. It has been going well. People have been committed and come every week, the discussion has been good and they seem to be getting stuff out of the teaching.
For me, it has been nice because the preparation time has been much less than before. I’ve felt the freedom to be real and honest with the group (in some areas).
But as I prepare each week, one thought runs through my head: I can’t wait until this is over.
It has definitely been a struggle. I have no passion for the topic, no passion for the people in the group and I keep wondering: What do I have to offer these people?
Nothing. I got nothing.
I was confessing this to God a couple of days before the meeting last week, as I tried to pray for the needs of the people in the group. I was wanting so much to just be done with the group–just wanting it to be over. And then I read this verse:
But to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of Christ’s gift.
– Eph 4:7
I realized that God doesn’t hand out His Grace to me to do this life group based on how much I prepare or my performance during the week. It is given in the measure of Christ’s gift–which is a pretty big heap of a whole lot of stuff. I mean, a lot.
This group isn’t about me and how I feel. It’s about what God wants to do in these people’s lives.
And I found that it was easier to pray for the members in the group and trust that even though I didn’t have anything to offer, God has a whole lot. I don’t have to work up a fervor.
Not to say it has been any easier. I still can’t wait until this group is over. But I’ve been clinging to that verse and hanging on tight.
Thank you, Lord for Your abundant Grace!