Recently at work I’ve been involved in resolving a very serious customer issue involving millions of dollars of equipment. I’ve had to go to daily status meetings where the environment has been tense and confrontational and where I have to daily answer for how I (and others) are making progress on the issues. Unpleasant at first, these daily meetings (beatings, I’ve called them) have become wearisome and dreaded after a few weeks. I’ve found myself defensive and guarded, trying to say as little as possible.
My quiet times have grown sparse and infrequent—the avoidance of yet another “duty” that has been placed on me—to submit to another master, face another expectation. I’ve projected the stern, confrontational disciplinarian image on God, and I can’t face facing Him.
But doesn’t it seem that way sometimes? You find yourself in a life situation that comes out of the blue. You get blindsided by something that you never saw coming. And you ask, “What did I do to deserve this?” “How did I get into this mess?” And you wonder how you’ll survive.
I know I’ve questioned why God has allowed certain things in my life.
This morning, I saw the words in Eph. 1:9: “…His kind intention…” The whole verse is:
He made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His kind intention which He purposed in [Jesus]…
It reminded me of the safe loving arms that we find in our Heavenly Father. He may allow certain things in our lives, but it is always in Love. I may question why He allows the situation, but am reminded that no matter the circumstances, His intention toward us is kind.
Instead of conflict, there is a shelter. Instead of an adversary, there is a place of rest and hope. I can lay down my defenses and be safe in His presence.
I don’t know how to get through it, or what the outcome will be, but I can trust that God will be with me in it, and that He loves me and intends to show His kindness to me.